Only this time it wasn’t some thing or some person, it was the damnable unique ache that only a woman can feel when she wants so badly to have a child, but lives with the lingering fear that she cannot. In the weeks that followed, she seemed to wither and shrink with each trip to the fertility clinic, and that pained look in her eyes had almost driven me into a panicked rage at times. I wanted our child for myself and the both of us, but I must admit that I lived with a stubborn determination that if my Virginia wanted anything, anything, by damn she was going to have it. She was a genuine soul who rarely asked anything of me that I didn’t give to her freely, therefore when she did want something, she got it. I wanted for her to have her child, to live in that moment that I knew she dreamed of. I never liked the idea of keeping secrets from her. It’s just not who I am. I did, however, make one exception. As I was driving home from the hardware store one afternoon I noticed a sign. "Now I want you to squat and spread that coochie all out for me," he said, looking through the view finder.Shanika tried to comply, but her ankle chain wouldn't let her spread her feet far enough apart to keep her balance. She fell into the dirt a couple of times before Dave took the chain off the cuffs. Then she was able to lean against the porch and display her sex for her white master. He clicked a couple more pictures."Now pee," he ordered. "Pee on the ground." When he noticed nothing was forthcoming, he raised his voice. "I said pee, bitch. Don't put on that shy act with me, you whore."She had been trying to urinate for him, but she was so embarrassed it was hard. Once the flow started, though, it gushed out. She heard the shutter click again and again as the puddle of piss formed in front of her."Look at me," he commanded again. "I want a picture of your face while you're forced to pee for me. I know it'll be a favorite."She looked up at him with a defeated look on her face. He.
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